


our threads start to snap, but you hold me together

by gayhems



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: M/M, also leo dreams about his kids dying so proceed with caution, catch me adding a second chapter or smth in like 4 yrs, i mean he had to commit lots of murder n shit thats gonna leave a mark, i refuse to believe leo doesnt have a lot of ptsd, its a hard knock life man, takumi too homeboy lost 2 moms a dad and a sibling, there was a second part but it didnt fit onto the end of this so, uhh blood and kind of puke mention in the first paragraph
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-07 20:05:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14088648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayhems/pseuds/gayhems
Summary: Trauma is an insatiable beast unbeatable by orthodox measures.





	our threads start to snap, but you hold me together

**Author's Note:**

> been having some pstd memories surface lately and it felt really good to pick up the first paragraph(ish) of this and write around it to just fuckin vent right into both of them this is my ao3 and my ccontent is a nonstop stream of pure hell thanks everybody like comment and subscribe down below

Leo woke to sweaty palms in a spiderweb of straw-colored hair, heart hammering harshly against his lungs. His eyes were glassed over with tears, ears ringing with the choked off cries of war criminals Corrin was too scared to eliminate. It was the same nightmare as usual, the one full of blood-stained tomes and the mind-scrambling screams, that had dragged him out of slumber every night or so since he was a teenager. There was never a face for his victim, but the voice mimicked almost everyone he’d ever met. Some nights Elise cried for him to stop, and some he heard the crowing of his youngest son or the begging of his eldest; those nights he awoke choking on poisonous bile, coughing and sobbing for the part of him cut out. Many nights, he was inconsolable, shaking and unfocused to the point of self disappointment, but the dismay was consistently one-sided. It was only fitting that his father visited him often as he tried to wake up, setting the cruel edge of his axe against Leo’s diaphragm and daring him to try to breathe. He wanted to inhale and prove him wrong but felt the bold bite of metal when he tried, gasping for stale air in his empty bedroom. 

One would think that now he was grown and married, so far away from the torment he’d once been obligated to commit, the dreams would stop. But they didn’t. Not for him, and certainly not for Takumi, who still woke up blindly reaching for his mother most nights. Leo was an appropriate substitute, but not one that ever felt a mother’s love, so he couldn’t know how to emulate it. Time and time again he was reassured that his love would always be plenty, but Leo was smart enough to know that his love would never replace that of Takumi’s mother. He knew and he moved on from it before it could ever become a problem, because he was good at getting rid of problems before they became hindrances. That is, until they learned how to avoid his tired sight and prey on his deepest insecurities while he let his defenses down. Takumi faced the same problems, however he was better at converting his fear of being abandoned from a weakness to a strength. He moved on from his coping mechanisms in order to strengthen his relationships and become a better leader and better friend to those that loved him. Somewhere in the ugly thicket of thorns around his heart, Leo envied his emotional growth.

He hated himself for feeling such a juvenile thing, but Leo knew that Takumi was as forgiving as he was strong, so Leo never feared losing him over it. Takumi loved him no matter how childish he could behave behind closed doors, and, blessedly, nothing could change that. Takumi was an irreplaceable link in his support system that grew with each passing night, and unlike any other link, he had no problem appreciating how reliant Leo was. From beside Leo in bed, he would shift with practiced gentility squeezing his hands and murmuring encouragement through every nightmare, no matter the contents. On worse nights he would hold his hands to the mattress and wait for the tremors to pass, whispering “i love you”s and “i’m sorry”s to the space between them. But the extremes were rare, and for that they both praised the gods.

**Author's Note:**

> whats up my twitter @ is grimafucker and im active as hell


End file.
